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This blog is based on a book review for class. The hope of this review is to create a resource that helps clients better understand the therapeutic process—particularly the roles of anxiety, defenses, and emotional engagement.

While people come to therapy either needing change, wanting change or hearing they need to change- understanding the process it takes to change can be difficult to understand. How I breakdown the process of therapy to my clients is simply put: you have a problem, lets identify the problem, lets discuss the reasons they are considered problems and what are you willing to do to change the problem. Another way of saying this is “So I hear you have some feelings that are reoccurring and nothing you have tried has worked. How open are you now to facilitate that change?” It will most likely be hard, confusing and at some times will be challenging. “How committed are you to putting in the work to create the change you are wanting?” We all want to change somethings about ourselves but when it comes to actually doing the work, we stumble because the reality is: change is hard. You would have to be honest with yourself when it comes to your behaviors, your feelings and how far you will go to change. Simply put, how honest are you with yourself when addressing your feelings, defenses, behaviors and motivation for change?

Let’s discuss one of the main causes that keeps us from changing- our defenses. Defenses are strategies used to ward of feelings (Frederickson, 2013, p. 5) Like projection, rumination and suppression. Projection means to displace your feelings on to someone else. Ruminating is wondering or speculating to avoid the experience of feelings (Frederickson, 2013, p. 116). Suppression involves the conscious avoidance of feelings (Frederickson, 2013, p.135). Defenses are created to avoid sharing your feelings, hopes and desires (Frederickson, 2013, p. 5) at which sometimes are unknown because we display these characteristics unconsciously (Frederickson, 2013, p. 95). Feeling seen yet? After we address or identify your defense, that comes with some resistance because WE SEE YOU. Not only do we see you, we hold you accountable to the uncomfortable feelings that hinder you from growing or changing. We have learned over time that our defenses protect us and keep us shielded, in return that have isolated us into not understanding or recognizing our true emotions.

Anxiety also plays apart in how to address change in our lives. As we already know, anxiety is a fear based unconscious respond to threat (Frederickson, 2013, p. 35). And we know that fear in return keeps us stuck or unable to change. Once the amygdala activates the somatic and automatic nervous systems (Frederickson, 2013, p. 36), we go into the flight or fight mode. That adaptive response to a perceived threat leads to a maladaptive reaction meaning fear, whether real or imagined (Frederickson, 2013, p. 37.) What are some of your bodily symptoms of anxiety? Remember anxiety is the feeling of the body not the thought (Frederickson, 2013, p. 40).  Anxiety gets a bad rap because its association with the inability to move forward but let us not forget how anxiety can be a healthy element for change. Always experiencing the bodily sensations can be enough for one to desire change and actively work on ways of moving anxiety through the body to help foster a healthy connection with your emotions. Another way of putting it, now anxiety is functional because it is a motivator for change. Instead of being stuck in the flight mode, now you are in fight mode which means doing something about it. We can see how anxiety can be flight (keeps us stuck) or fight (actively doing something about it); and it can be scary. Utilizing therapy can help you not only understand how your mind and body respond to anxiety, it can help you develop skills to help with body recognition of your symptoms and work on changing/understanding your thought process that cultivate anxiety but get down to the root of it. (deep breathe, identifying reality versus fantasy, avoidance recognition, changing thought patterns and self-soothing techniques).

The element of resistance takes place when we address the process of emotional change. The focus now is translating the repressed or previously avoided feelings to experiencing those feelings. The process of transitioning from experimental (observe/feeling them) to intellectual (identifying and recognizing). We are working together as a team (alliance) to break through those defenses and confront the underlining emotion collaboratively. The triangle of conflict focuses on the feeling, anxiety and defenses. If a client cannot observe their feelings, they cannot experience them. (Frederickson, 2013, p. 259) We struggle with observing emotions due to our defenses. Self-awareness, self- observation, attention, differentiation, causality and synchronicity are traits that will need to be discussed so that we can move towards the collaborative alliance which focuses on the nature of the problem, treatment goals and unconscious conflict (processing defenses) (Frederickson, 2013, p.262). The goal is to be like the caterpillar in the cocoon. We go into therapy wanting to change. As we trust the process, stop resisting change and accept who we are, and in no time, we become anew or a healed version of ourselves.

While in the therapeutic journey, my role as the therapist is to create a collaborative alliance. Not only am I leaning on warmth and empathy, I am focusing on developing a collaborative effort between you and I. We want to focus on the nature of your problem, treatment and the role I will play in helping you combat your defenses. My role is to help you focus on your unconscious conflicts to expose your true feelings and address/decipher those conflicts at the source. Remember, defenses are created to reduce anxiety and avoid feelings that have most likely been adaptive since childhood. I can probably guess how you are feeling after this brake down. Let us relax, take some deep breathes. You probably have some negative thoughts surfacing, take a minute and remember you motivation for change. It will be hard and a little uncomfortable but all we need is a little faith of a mustard seed, remain present and engaged as much as you can and the process of change begins. Being a part of the therapeutic alliance, we will be challenged with facing/inquiring real emotions (bringing them to light); pointing out the defenses as they arise by asking deep/meaningful questions to separate the feeling from the defense (blocking defenses, returning to the feeling). The goal/achievement from this is to help recreate the motivation and desire for hope within yourself. (Frederickson, 2012.)

I want to reiterate the hard work that comes with understanding and differentiating our feelings, anxiety, and defenses. (Frederickson, 2013, p. 5) It will be difficult to communicate at times what the underline problems, the true feelings and accepting the defenses that were created. Something for you to remember, you are not going through this alone, you have a therapist that not only wants to help you defeat your defense but one who is backing the utilized interventions with resources and collaborating with you to stay moving towards your desired goals that align with you operating from more of your authentic self. When you are ready to take this journey, reach out below. I am happy to help and answer any questions you may have before we start creating our therapeutic alliance.

Reference

Frederickson, J. (2013). Co-creating change: Effective dynamic therapy techniques. Seven Leaves Press.

Frederickson, J. (2012, May 12). Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy Part 4. [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/eVOgXhq49ek?si=F08vJt7k5nlFJy2Y

The start of a new year often carries an unspoken pressure to “start over,” to be better, stronger, or more accomplished than before. For many African American individuals and families, however, the concept of new beginnings is more complex. It is shaped by history, cultural resilience, generational responsibility, and lived experiences with systemic stressors. As we enter a new year, new beginnings do not have to mean erasing the past; instead, they can mean reclaiming agency, prioritizing mental wellness, and choosing intentional healing.

Reframing the Idea of a New Beginning

In African American communities, survival has often required strength, perseverance, and emotional endurance. While these qualities are sources of pride, they can also lead to minimizing emotional pain or delaying self-care. A new beginning does not require abandoning strength—it invites redefining it.

Strength can look like:

• Setting boundaries without guilt
• Naming emotional needs
• Seeking support when overwhelmed
• Resting without justification

This year, consider reframing new beginnings as permission—permission to grow beyond survival and move toward wholeness.

Letting Go Without Forgetting

The new year can surface reflection on past losses, disappointments, or unmet goals. For African Americans, this reflection may also include racial stress, intergenerational trauma, or family expectations rooted in cultural survival.

Letting go does not mean forgetting where you come from. It means releasing what no longer serves your emotional well-being. Ask yourself:

• What emotional patterns am I carrying that were once protective but are now exhausting?
• What expectations am I holding that no longer align with who I am becoming?

New beginnings are not about denial; they are about discernment.

Mental Health as a Legacy, Not a Luxury

Historically, mental health care has not always felt accessible or safe for African American communities. As a result, many people have learned to cope silently. Choosing mental wellness in the new year can be an act of legacy-building.

Prioritizing mental health sends a powerful message:

• Healing is allowed
• Emotions are valid
• The next generation deserves models of emotional health

Whether that looks like therapy, journaling, spiritual practices, support groups, or intentional rest, mental health care is not selfish—it is generational work.

Setting Intentions Instead of Resolutions

Traditional New Year’s resolutions often focus on productivity and external achievement. For mental wellness, intentions may be more sustainable and compassionate.

Consider intentions such as:

• “I will listen to my body and emotions with curiosity, not judgment.”
• “I will make space for joy without waiting for permission.”
• “I will seek support when life feels heavy.”

Intentions allow flexibility, honoring the reality that healing is not linear.

Embracing Joy as Resistance and Renewal

Joy is sometimes undervalued in conversations about resilience, yet joy has always been a form of resistance and restoration in African American culture. Music, laughter, faith, creativity, and community connection are not distractions from healing—they are essential to it.

As you step into the new year, ask yourself not only what you want to fix, but also what you want to feel.

Closing Reflection

A new beginning does not require perfection, productivity, or reinvention. It requires presence, intention, and compassion for yourself. This year, may your new beginning be rooted in honoring your story, tending to your mental health, and choosing growth at your own pace.

You are not starting from nothing—you are starting from experience, wisdom, and resilience. And that is more than enough.

March is Women’s History Month, a time to recognize the achievements, resilience, and contributions of women throughout history. As a licensed professional counselor, I have witnessed firsthand the emotional strength and perseverance of women navigating life’s challenges. While we celebrate women’s accomplishments in various fields, it is equally important to acknowledge their mental and emotional well-being.

The Mental Health Journey of Women

Women have historically faced unique mental health challenges influenced by societal expectations, gender roles, and disparities in access to care. From balancing careers and family responsibilities to overcoming trauma and systemic inequalities, women’s resilience is commendable. Yet, many struggle in silence due to stigma, lack of resources, or cultural barriers.

Breaking the Stigma: Seeking Support is Strength

For too long, women have been conditioned to be the nurturers, the caretakers, the ones who “hold it all together.” But strength is not about carrying burdens alone—it’s about seeking support when needed. Prioritizing mental health is an act of self-care and empowerment.

Common Mental Health Challenges Women Face

• Anxiety & Depression:Women are more likely than men to experience anxiety and depression, often due to biological, hormonal, and social factors.
• Trauma & PTSD:Many women have endured experiences of abuse, domestic violence, or gender-based discrimination. Healing from trauma requires safe spaces and professional support.
• Work-Life Balance & Burnout:The pressure to excel in multiple roles—mother, partner, professional, caregiver—can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion.
• Body Image & Self-Worth:Societal beauty standards and unrealistic expectations contribute to body image struggles and self-esteem issues.

Empowering Women’s Mental Health

As we celebrate Women’s History Month, let’s also focus on empowering women’s mental well-being. Here are some ways to support women’s mental health:

🌿 Encourage Self-Care – Self-care is not selfish. It’s essential. Whether it’s therapy, journaling, exercise, or rest, taking time for oneself is a necessity.
💜 Advocate for Accessible Mental Health Resources – Support policies and initiatives that provide affordable and culturally competent mental health care.
🗣 Normalize Conversations About Mental Health – Encourage women to speak openly about their struggles and seek professional help without fear of judgment.
🤝 Build Supportive Communities – A strong support system of friends, family, and professional guidance makes a difference in mental well-being.

This Women’s History Month, let’s not only celebrate the achievements of women but also commit to their mental wellness. Let’s uplift, support, and create spaces where women feel safe, valued, and heard.

Black History Month is a time of reflection, celebration, and acknowledgment of the immense contributions Black individuals have made to society. As a licensed professional counselor, I see this month as not only an opportunity to honor historical achievements but also a chance to highlight the importance of mental health in the Black community.

The Legacy of Strength and Resilience

Throughout history, Black individuals have demonstrated remarkable resilience in the face of adversity. From the trauma of slavery to the challenges of segregation and ongoing systemic inequities, the Black community has cultivated strength, perseverance, and unity. However, resilience should not mean enduring pain in silence. Prioritizing mental health is an essential part of honoring our legacy and fostering a healthier future.

Breaking the Stigma

For generations, mental health concerns have often been met with stigma in the Black community. The belief in “strength at all costs” has sometimes discouraged individuals from seeking help, even when they are struggling. As a counselor, I encourage open conversations about mental health, emphasizing that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy is a valuable resource for processing emotions, healing from generational trauma, and cultivating personal growth.

Recognizing Historical and Cultural Trauma

The impact of historical and cultural trauma cannot be overlooked. The effects of racism, discrimination, and systemic injustices have left psychological wounds that continue to affect many today. Acknowledging these experiences and their impact is the first step toward healing. Culturally competent therapy and community-based support systems play a crucial role in addressing these challenges.

The Power of Community and Healing

Community has always been a pillar of strength in Black history. From churches and grassroots movements to family support networks, these spaces have provided comfort and empowerment. Today, mental health professionals, advocates, and community leaders are working to ensure that mental wellness is woven into the fabric of Black life. Group therapy, mentorship programs, and wellness initiatives tailored to Black individuals can foster healing in culturally affirming ways.

Honoring Black Mental Health Pioneers

As we celebrate Black history, we must also recognize the pioneers in the mental health field who have paved the way for greater awareness and access. Figures such as Dr. Mamie Phipps Clark, whose research on racial identity and self-esteem influenced the Brown v. Board of Education case, and Dr. Joy DeGruy, known for her work on post-traumatic slave syndrome, have contributed immensely to understanding Black mental health.

Moving Forward

Black history is a testament to strength, resilience, and progress. As we honor this legacy, let us also commit to prioritizing mental well-being. Seeking therapy, engaging in self-care, and supporting one another in mental health journeys are all ways we can continue to uplift and empower the Black community.

This Black History Month, let’s celebrate not just the achievements of the past but also the importance of mental wellness for a thriving future.

Happy New Year!!!!!!